Too long for yearbooks, Part One.

This hour is my last one as a high schooler.

Technically, I still would have to wait some eighteen hours, a graduation ceremony, and a diploma to officially end my career as a high schooler, but what the heck.

Graduations are like birthdays - it ends a time period, yet it starts a new one at the same time.

Since I don't have to be in school tomorrow - maybe just waking up at 9:30 or so, so that I could play tennis with my buds as a student one last time, I'll just write my heart out.

We write a lot of things in yearbooks - some meaningful, some not so much due to variables such as the strength of a friendship, or the amount of space a person gives you to sign (I.E - Do not write on the back of the yearbook, this is my man's page).

I personally love to sign yearbooks: It leaves my mark in there, somewhat a territorial thing within one's heart, or something of the sort. Yet, much like I've said before, there is no point to satisfaction - we want to add something more, and more, and more until it becomes perfect, or overkill.

Not saying that these people that I've known in my high school career will be gone forever, but I want to write something more meaningful where my space or time isn't limited by a vice principal's speech, or a rush because someone else needs to sign it, so here goes:

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1. Hassan - You're the first person I've met at Westchester. Like most friendships, I've had times that I regret meeting you for the things that you've done, or did, or currently doing, but there were times that we got along too well for our own good. Basically, the theory of opposites attract applied to us, and I can't believe your ass might be stuck here forever. Here's hoping that it won't happen.

2. Tobin -There's a debate about you being either the smartest kid in school, or a straight up hard-worker. Some people say that you're hardworking because you get all these straight A-s and stuff. I think it's simply a combination. You can be smart and not hardworking, and it'll still get you a 3.0, or a 3.5, such as in my case, if you get lucky. You can be hardworking, but not smart, but that just means that you took really easy classes, or you're a big fish in a small pond. Once again, you've proven yourself to be a big fish in a pond with big fishes in a small pond. Congratulations in being Valedictorian, you've earned my respect and so many others' as well.

3. Kendra - There is a common phrase that is used around: "Diamond in the rough" - it's not so much for your academics, but it's more of a personality thing. I met you freshman year, and you were the silent type, and didn't really hear from you much during conversation. Like a diamond in the rough, I simply had to find and polish the "dirt" out of you, per se, and let the real beauty of it shine through. I really am amazed at this beauty, both physically (Let the person who has not thought the same thing stone me first) and personally. I don't blame you if you make a ton of friends in Utah because they see such beauty described, but I really hope that you don't forget me.

4. Nathan - You've literally changed in front of me - physically, that is. As for your personality, it stayed the same. For some reason, much like other people who have tried and avoid me, there is this certain charm or swagger to you that just attracts people - perhaps, it's the witty side of you as I've heard and received your comments. If anything, I'd compare you to an ice cream cone - no matter what the dip on the outside is, it's still Vanilla. Stay chill and tasty, but remember, i'm not having a culinary boner over you.

5. Nik - I still hate you for making fun of Rascal Flatts in Kohon's class - I remember asking you if you knew the progression for this song, and you went "what the fuck" is this. I also remember adding you in MySpace as Captain Cocker - I really don't know what they mystery behind that is, and I don't want to know. If anything however, you somewhat deserve that name based on our mutual instances with your dick, nohomo (Nelsen's Class and BOB1) - That picture's up on the internet, and next time that they ask me about it, I'm calling you on your phone to give that explanation.

6. Wendy - "Women are like eggs, dude". I at least know five ways to cook an egg, and if I missed any, then that's why I'm going to New York for. There's a reason to this analogy. Your personality is highly varied compared to the others I know where some are plain douchebags, some are plain boring, some are plain enthusiastic. Because of this varied personality, I can never figure you out - pisses me off sometimes, to be honest. Here's a better analogy that I could come up with though: If you cook eggs right though, it's heaven and it's worth it. I know, but I don't hope that this is a little too late, but you are one egg that I really want to try and figure out.

7. Sarah - I personally thought that meeting people via social networking was B.S - (see E-Harmony, and the sort). You as a woman had more balls than I ever had (Yes, I'll sincerely admit, for now), inviting me to your New Year's party, trusting that I'm not some lurk (ahem, Hassan). Ever since that day, I think our friendship has grown slowly (really slowly, in my opinion) because of our few encounters in YnG, and whereever Oliver hangs out these days. But really, I wouldn't fix something that's not broken because obviously (either that, or I'm very oblivious to this fact) that this friendship is still growing with drips of water and rays of sunlight at a time. By the way, I still owe you thirteen bucks for that camping trip, and I need to find a hot plates - who doesn't like crepes?

8. Mark - Everytime I look for a job these days, there's this voice at the back of my head saying "You know why you can't get a job?" - You asshole. I'm glad to discover that we're both in the same neighborhood. To be honest, I'm happy to know a person who's blunt as you, but still an asshole (even though it's ground beef, it's still beef - if you don't get that analogy, call me). Because of this personality of yours, I've developed in my opinion the better, if not the best conversations with you because they actually make me think. By the way, you need to learn how to bike if you're gonna survive college. Walking can be over-rated at times, you know?

Dream Night

Have I ever told you about my dream night?

If so, here it is:

Going to Ralphs with at least fifty dollars, spending thirty on wood, some chips and soda, and heading down to a beach, sitting beside a warm fire while reading a good book, or listening to music.

I might do it on grad nite - I love my friends and all, but I believe it's time I separated myself from that mess and gave myself a nice graduation gift.  After all, Silence is the gift of the gods, and we all deserve it once in a while.  

That, and why the hell do I want to pay seventy for Chester's grad nite, while Gundo pays 26?

Separation Anxiety

I never thought I would have this feeling again after I left Sacramento for the last time.

What feeling is it?  See title above.

I, along with a ton of 12th grade delegates have expressed in our own separate ways as to how we will miss Sacramento, or Youth and Government program itself as a whole.

I remember saying to myself that we can always come back to the program (like a good uncrustable - shout out to Brandon Kim) as interns or advisors, much like my advisors have after their time as delegates for at least seven years or so (not sure on the time-frame part, but it's welcome for any correction).  

After writing that blog, I felt separation anxiety for a week, talking to my newfound YnG friends (which reminds me, I feel the need to talk to them these days - I don't want to make these friendships a one week stand, or anything of the sort) and past memories, whatever it may be from Spring Conference to NIC first round commissions, etc.

It was weird to have that feeling as if the world were ending in front of me, with lost hope - not going to lie...

Then I realized, I had college to look forward to.

Denver, Colorado - Seven months away, I can picture the goodbyes in my head, along with the picture of my parents gone, my friends with their own destiny at their own hands as they go on to different colleges - away from their families, meeting new friends, etc.

Then, I competed for C-CAP, a cooking competition, and suddenly, EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I got 40 grand (for those who don't know, it's forty thousand dollars) to go to the Culinary Institute of America, also known as the Harvard of cooking.

One condition... Maybe two, just let me list them anyway.

One is that I had to stay one more year and take my classes at a community college, second, I had to work at a professional kitchen for at least six months (my scholarship DOES have a due date), and keep a 3.0.

Basically, this scholarship that I got made my heart burst and made me almost cry to tears (of happiness of course), since I didn't know I was going to do THAT well for the level that I performed.

Not saying that I want it, but as of this point, this scholarship feels like the girlfriend that I knocked up - I'm stuck with it forever, and if I ditched it, I'm basically fucked.

After thinking that way, a stream of thoughts ran through my head.

I have to go to church for one more year with my mom (and I dislike it)

My senior friends are all gone to college of their choices, and I'm here getting to mine, starting from scratch, at a community college (once again, one of my greatest fears, community college), as it makes me feel unsuccessful compared to those who are going there in a matter of months (at least three, I suppose) 

So basically, part of it is jealousy.

And my last worry is this - If my friends are all gone to college, and my friends at Westchester, who some, to be completely honest, I'm uncertain about because I haven't bonded with them much are genuine friends of mine, since I can't relate to them in terms of whatever the fad is, or what to talk to them about, etc. (Much is the same with my senior friends, but I've been around them for four years, and it's just going to feel weird)

When I told the panel that I was willing to make the sacrifice(a year of community college, and kitchen experience) to get to the best (CIA), I didn't know that problems like this would start flowing at the moment that I thought of it.

The  anxiety after leaving YnG does not affect my future much, as I know that I always have a connection to these people and can talk to them later, but this anxiety that I have now, the scholarship, will affect me in the future that if I dent my reputation one bit, that scholarship will be gone faster than President Obama ever said hope, and I'm stuck here for a long period of time... and I don't want that.

I remember writing in my speech for graduation saying that "let the thought of you joining the real world scare you momentarily, but never let it scare you forever".

As of now, I can't live by my own words.  Though I know that this won't last forever, It still lingers now, and I just need something to get over it, but I'm not willing to do it through cigarrettes or alcohol, because it's just nasty....

Bitter Binge

If this won't make me feel any better, I don't know what will.

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I definitely understand how mothers tend to say "That could have been you" - it's an achievement, pride thing, I guess.  But this specific one doesn't really apply to any of that.

I remember going home on a Sunday from church, with my mom asking me if I had to go somewhere today, and I said yes.  I said, I was going to my friend's event.  And she(my mom) asks if I'm with her (in a relationship), I simply said no.  And she said, "Oh, I thought she was going to be with you, why didn't you go for it? Did you get beat?"

My first thought:  WHAT THE FUCK.

I wanted to say it, right there and then, but I didn't want to do it on her favorite day, and on a four day weekend.  That would suck major balls, and I just don't want to pull an Aubrey.

Ever since then, it somewhat has been awkward for me seeing this person.  Awkward, but I can be mature about it, have a good conversation, but every now and then, I start thinking to myself:   I did get beat to it.

In fact, why do I even care?

Here's my second thought:  I remember Dakota was telling stories in the bus, and he's said this one where you "do" some girl one night, and when you're in the beach doing your thing, and she runs off, waves to you, you ask yourself "why did you do that?"

Same situation applies to me currently, but I didn't do someone in the process (thankfully), but it makes me remember one night, where I'm forced to be satisfied with it, because of memories captured in paper, or posted in facebook, and whatnot.

Not saying that I was satisfied with it, but, it somewhat didn't feel like the way I wanted it.  I'm not a perfectionist, but there is a side of me where I want to feel good as to what I'm doing, whether if it is halfassed or not.

Even if I did get the date that I wanted, and some people know who it is, and maybe she knows herself as to who she is - there is no point to satisfaction.  I might have gotten the right date, but I didn't do enough, as in pick a crappy corsage, spent too much, bored her to tears - I don't really know the common problems for dating, or "dating", and the whatnot.

Here's my third thought:  Westchester High screwed me over, and I want my fucking refund.

Instead of spending only two hundred dollars on a yearbook and cap and gown, these people, yes, these people advertised senior packages, but not the cap and gown package only.

Either I didn't read the paper right, or they baited and switched me.  I have no freaking idea.

That, or I forgot the other option: They put it in really small print.

Once again, what the flying fuck.

I saw the senior packages, and one is a memory book that looks gay as fuck with some madlibs shit on it.  Really, dude?  That, and it had tickets to senior breakfast and picnic, which as to this day, I'm still raging aobut because I didn't get my package, and didn't go to the breakfast.

And to think, I was so hungry this morning, that I only ate a freaking fast-one bar, or whatever the heck it is with thirtyfive percent amount of fiber for the day bar... still delicious anyway.

I know that I've been enjoying the simple pleasures of life far too much, but living under this concept has screwed me over so many times that I could have banked in on chances, so many chances, that I'm just letting it all out at this point.  

When I said that there is no point to satisfaction, there is no point to satisfaction - it's only temporary, and another problem comes up again to bother and destroy you emotionally to pieces.

Really, can my eighteen days of high school just be up, have my break, and take this dick off my ass temporarily?

Jump Start

Wow, haven't posted in a while...

I remember writing my graduation speech a couple weeks back....

But here's a really quick backtrack:

My congratulations go first to Tobin and Kendra for getting Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.  As a prize for such a prestige, they both get speeches.  To be really honest, I'm somewhat jealous that they get to deliver a speech.

But wait.  Opportunity knocks.  Speech Contest, let's go.

And back to the real post.

I remember writing so many drafts in Kamm's class, how I've tried to backtrack from six or seven years back.  (According to Wolfram Alpha, I have been here six years and fifty two days)

Then, I realized that it didn't work, and instead, I focused on the present, focusing a point in my weekend in Colorado.  (Can't say much, because if this actually gets in, then I get to give a speech! HOOPS!)

I've realized as I was writing this speech was that time flies by so fast that it cannot fit in a two minute speech.  These moments, as much as we want to brag about them, will never get a chance to shine on the big stage, in front of many people, having a laughter or a quick tear.

Moments that lived upon us in eighteen years of our living lives in our hearts.  We program ourselves to keep what we want to keep, what we want to delete, we are programmed permanently to remember some things that turned our lives upside down, three sixty - whichever your favorite expression may be.

That, and the secret to a speech is the secret to good food, or anything good in general:  It comes from the heart.

Musical Chairs, and Time.

There is one concept in life that doesn't sit right with me:  Moving On.

It truly is a pain to watch someone enjoy something while I'm at home not doing that something that someone else is doing.  The worst part is that this "something" is a thing that I, or some of the people I knew wanted to do.

It is a mixture of emotions, really.  Happy that someone else got to experience what I once experienced, Sad that I only got to see it in pictures, Angry as to how it was all SIP, and how I couldn't see the people that I knew inside or out of Westchester once again.

The most ironic thing about this though, is that I wanted for this to happen.  I said before (and I'm pretty sure that every person graduating has) is that we just want high school to be over.  It is finally getting over, as we are going through the last stages of April, then in a matter of days, it's the AP test.  After that's done, what's next?

The irony in our wishes or things that we say is far too general that is merely a basic idea, something that we can all agree upon.  Once that this "wish" actually goes by, there is a certain part that you don't want to leave:  A high school relationship, your starting spot on a sports team, or that one club you joined a year later because you were too fucking lazy, or intimidated to ask.

(That above obviously involves me, minus the relationship - like a legit one, not friendships, not that I don't want them, it's just time for something new.)

As much as I hate to say it, the concept of moving on is much like an ugly chick walking by that when given a makeover, it blossoms into something beautiful, something that you'd want to have sex with or simply "fap" to.  (Perhaps, that's just me, but other guys can agree to such a statement).  I am not alone in this experience, but this is pretty much the same feeling that I had after leaving my hometown.  It probably doesn't sit right with me right now, but as the days go by, some things will come to form, and some of these things might surprise ourselves, and one day, this surprise might bring you back once again to that someone or something that you once loved.

DC0419091145PM

The Birthday Analogy

There is that one feeling prior to my birthday that I really get excited about:  The idea that I'm one year closer to be able to drink, to vote, to drive by myself, etc, or simply one year closer to death, or one year closer to independency, to success, to party.

Then, the event comes.  You get that magic number, you've had your moments, and then the next day, it feels like nothing happened, as if it was a normal day.

That is pretty much what I'm feeling at this point.  I don't even know how the hype for a certain event came to form, or why it was even brought up.  I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want to go through with it, but I guess due to some tradition that has lasted for centuries, I guess I had to.

This is how bad it is to have so much thought swimming around in my head.  I don't know what to say, or I don't know whether to be straightforward or vague.  

Probably, it's because of this birthday analogy of getting gifts.  I guess that perfectly suits my point quite well.

If I wanted a car, and knowing me, being a teenager and my mom being a cheap, insurance agent, I'm pretty confident that I'm going to get the shitty old car with carpets that smell like cat piss, and an exterior that has possibly been scratched by cats. 

Then, on my birthday, I get a car that is brand new.  Leather interior, leather everything, GPS, bling on the rims, a sick sound system.... It's like, "What the hell did I fucking do to get this?", Where's the one that I expected to get?  

I still can't believe that life gave me the car that I didn't expect to get.  I mean I did want it before, but I've gone to accept the fact that I wasn't getting the shiny car.  Hell, I've accepted it that I told myself that I wasn't going to buy a car, and instead get a moped - something totally different from a car.

But now, I don't even know.  Do I return the car, or do I run away with it and have a joyride?

A New Leaf.

I realized something:  I cannot kill this blog.

I've made attempts to make a fresh start by at least attempting to make a new blog with no posts in it.  I've used titles such as "Like Dude, Seriously", "Dan-dified", or "For Everyone's Eyes Only".

Thinking of titles for the new blog got really stressful that I didn't even have the time to write the blog that I was planning to write itself.  I was also thinking about transferring all my better stuff into the new blog site.

I thought about it a couple minutes back and said:

"Man, all I need to do is to delete a couple of blogs, and change the title of the blog!"

So I did.

Even though this blog is for everyone's eyes only, It seems rather unoriginal as I took it from "For Stevie Wonder's Eyes Only", a song from Bring Me The Horizon.  That, and if I publish a blog for everyone in the world to read, then it truly is a given or else, I would go through the trouble of limiting it to a certain amount of readers, which probably won't even read it.

That, and I thought about the deleting thing, and I think that I'm not going to delete any of my past blogs, except for a draft here and there, as well as that notification of me making a new blog, since it's obviously bogus.  That, and every artist has had crappy work (except they're obviously in the ruins or stashed somewhere, who knows)

With college basketball season over, and the baseball season just starting, I think it's appropriate to say that the title for this blog is....

(look above. :])

A good day.

I woke up twenty five minutes later than usual, didn't rush in the shower, and got a legitimate breakfast.  

It really does so far seem like a really good day.

We then talked about a narrative about George Bernard Shaw's piece on how he was rather amused by his mother's cremation in addition to a twenty minute free time in first period.

It continues to be a really good day.

Second period, we warmed up with one problem, got some help on the test (I needed a good score, and some help, and definitely used it to my advantage).  Then yeah, besides Elliott dicking with my calculator...

It still was a good day.

Third period, we watched President Obama's press conference from two days ago.  I almost fell asleep (I really dont ahve a thing for Press Conferences...), but we didn't do anything else... Therefore...

It still was a good day.

Then fourth period, exhibition match against Narbonne.  I was pretty sure we had this on the bag, but then Amir lost.  Alex and James as a team lost.  Oliver and Allan as a team won their match.  We seemed down.  Then the next batch of matches came.  Patrick loses.  Leandrew wins, Jonas wins in a third setter.  Meaning... It came down to me and Josh, and long story short, we won, 4-3 as a team. Me and Josh took it home today, even though it was an exhibition.  It really felt good.

Yeah, you get my message.  It is a good day.

I'm now here typing this blog with no worry in the world except for one.  Will my day be better tomorrow?  

I sure hope so.

'

Youth Movement

Today, I handed over "my car keys" to my mom, simply saying that I refuse to drive, or accept it, since it's only a symbol of her giving me the middle finger. Either that, or I'm actually finally starting to feel the economic strain that this country is experiencing.

It's not so much that I refuse to drive, it's something called an Insurance Policy that prevents me from doing it. My mom says that my stepdad hasn't paid his bills, but she's willing to pay for it if either I am enthused by the idea of church, and its affiliates (Youth Group, etc.).

As we were having this discussion in the car, I gave reasons to my mother such as:

1. People who have religious beliefs think they are far more superior, since they have something that is called "God" with them.
2. Church is boring, and it doesn't really entertain me these days. I mean, it's simply a man on stage preaching the practical thing. Common sense, more like. And does it really take some sort of place to learn such values of common sense? (I know, the concept itself is rather broad).

I forgot what other reasons I have, but those two are my main ones.

I also know that by writing this, I am not creating friends, and I hope I'm not creating enemies either (your opinions are however, accepted. Fire away).

The main reason why I don't trust my mom on things is that her logic is based on a religious mindset, and it really upsets me to think that whatever she says is always credible, and I just want practical advice, none of that "godly bs" that she feeds me from time to time.

I really do hate the fact that she's trying to convince me to join another Youth group. I've experienced it before, and I didn't have as much fun as I wanted to, and because of that, why should I give it another chance? Why should I meet people who I believe are far more superior than me, because they have that "godly bs" knowledge.

Really, why should I give this another shot?

So that I could make that woman called my mother make me happy?
So that I could drive again?
So that I could have more friends?
Because I have nothing better to do?

Everytime I think about it, I am simply a male version of my mother, and I hate it so much.

The sound of her voice is so annoying, that I don't want to be near her as much as possible.
Her logic is so stupid that I don't even want to take advice from her.
Her way of life is so unorthodox that it deprives me of some better opportunities out there.

I don't even know. All this, simply because one wanted me to go to some Youth Group that I never want to experience again.

As much as I believe that there is no reason for me to go back, as being told that my "faith is drifting away", I'm gonna go back and give this another shot. The reasons, I will not state publicly, but here's one thing.

I'm not out there to make my mother happy.
I'm out there for myself.

One Shining Moment

I remember sitting at Westchester’s annual Youth and Government (YnG) End of The Year Banquet as the advisors were getting ready to present this year’s awards.  First up was the Outstanding Senior of the Year.  As my lead advisor announced this, I remember a voice in the back yelling “It’s D-Man!, It’s D-Man!” (D-Man is my nickname).  After a brief description of the winner, there were drum rolls, then a moment of silence.  It was me.  I got up, the cameras are flashing, and people are yelling “Speech! Speech!”.  If I would have given one that night, it would have been too long or it wouldn’t come out right so I took a couple pictures and a bow and proceeded on with the night cheering and congratulating my other friends as they got their awards and as they were elected into office.  Every person has a shining moment in his life, and this was mine… so far.

Joining the Youth and Government Program is one of the best choices that I made in my life along with the decision to go here in the States about eight years ago.  But the real question is:  What is Youth and Government’s correlation to C-CAP? 

Youth and Government is the Sauvignon Blanc to my Bouillabaisse of a culinary career.  Before Youth and Government I thought I was a hot shot: one with a certain swagger that with my intelligence and charm I could be on the top of the world or be the world itself.  But I was wrong.  I remember my first Youth and Government experience in Spring Conference having to debate a proposal where nothing can make up for the lack of my intelligence in such a subject.  I remembered having to convince a room of fifty or more people why a proposal (which I knew nothing about) was worth passing, and it took only one Con Speaker (a person against the proposal) to shoot it down completely.  After that, I remembered asking myself: “This is only Spring Conference, a preview of the YnG year with five hundred or so people and I’m easily beaten?  How would I do during at Sacramento, the real deal, when 2400 people are there?  How many people are better than me? ALL 2399 of them?”. That weekend, I simply lived with that thought in mind, went home, and waited for Camp Roberts and Sacramento.

In my first year in Youth and Government coming into the gym in Camp Roberts, I was simply amazed by the surroundings, with the hundreds of people cheering their hearts out in battles of “We have spirit yes we do, we got spirit, how about you” chants and other delegation cheers such as “CPY what time is it?” along with the campaign posters going around, with people in suits on a hot day walking around asking for my vote.  After the gym experience, we were now in sessions and every time someone walked up in front to speak, I felt like that person was always better than me in everything I thought I am good at such as debating, or making new friends.  It was irritating. I knew I had the fight left in me but I simply gave up thinking that if someone is better than me, then I have no realistic chance of beating them.  This feeling lasted in all the major conferences in Youth and Government, and I didn’t have fun all outside the inner circle that is the Westchester Delegation.

During the summer (YnG only goes on during the school year), I realized that I was inside looking out as I wanted to be someone else that I wasn’t.  I wanted to be in the same league as the Youth Governor where everyone knew his name and his voice, where everyone wanted his opinions on certain issues as well as his acquaintance.  I forgot what Westchester was all about:  it was simply all about having fun while being practical.  Our advisors didn’t care if we were being stupid in debating for a bill as long as it was relevant. Our advisors didn’t care as much with our camp pranks as long as it didn’t harm anyone.  This was the inspiration for the promise that I made prior to my senior year: to go all out, have fun and leave nothing on the table.  As the events in the Youth and Government year went by, I did what I said and I became a part of Westchester as a part of last year’s officer team as Delegation Secretary. Through this position, I met people, learned all their names and their personalities by making conversation past the “Hi” and “How are you doing?” stage.  I went to Camp Roberts and wore my “I HAVE A CULINARY BONER” shirt and became known for it.  I spoke my thoughts with passion, with knowledge, with a swagger that I never thought I would ever have. With these deeds, plus more, not only did I make friendships inside my delegation, but I also outside of it. I never felt better in my life than this Youth and Government year despite having its share of patches.  These moments, these deeds are much like stars, little sparkling stars that if clustered together creates one big shine of light, creating one shining moment.

            The answer to the question earlier “What is Youth and Government’s correlation to C-CAP?”  is this:  There are some events from the past that we can connect through our experiences now, and there are some people from other places that inspire us to do something.  For example, I remember coming in C-CAP for the first time last year, having the same confidence as I did much like being in my first YnG experience in Spring Conference.  I went to the training session last year and thought that I would dominate  when it turned out that I had no clue as to how to tournée a potato or make a thin crepe, with a chef judge telling me that I could not go anywhere else but up.  This proved to be true as I was one, and only guy of the four juniors selected for an opportunity for a weekend in New York, but did not get it.

            Both the Youth and Government and C-CAP programs have humbled me as it presented a message that all beginnings are humble, that I cannot be a teenage prodigy or a Hollywood Hotshot without paying my dues.  The past is the past, the present is now, and the future can only be better.  My simple blueprint for the future is to experience the college life, serve my time and pay my debts.  Depending on where the future takes me, I want to have at least two restaurants: Eversoul (The proposed name for Westchester High’s Cooking Club) and Sacramento (Youth and Government), and/or be on either Iron Chef, Top Chef, or The Next Food Network Star.  Some people might not take me seriously and say these dreams are childish, but I’m willing to tell my friend to put “To be an Iron Chef” under my plans for the future, then it will happen.  I do not believe in having a timeline, but I believe that if I do what I am supposed to be doing with quality and passion while doing it on a reasonably fast pace, then everything would come to me from the restaurants, money, fame, or any other accolades that a chef can gather during his lifetime.

            Joining C-CAP last year as a junior has given me the chance to share my story as to why I wanted to be a chef through being a religious follower of Food Network and any other culinary show that is currently in existence.  I believe that it is time for me to be a slave to society where I pay back my debt of happiness and the support that they have been providing me by integrating the values that I learned in experiences past whether it be from Youth and Government, Westchester High School, or at home.  To those who support me in this journey are already my family, and to those who doubt, I want them to be a part of my family by proving them wrong.  These people will be my fuel to success, and dousing it on a spark of opportunity creates a new shining moment, one that I can savor much like a meal of bouillabaisse and white wine.

Life Goes On

I thought blogging was supposed to bring me up somewhere in life.

Now, it just seems to be my undoing.

There have been rumors flying around that I was going to do something that related to a blog before. I swear, I thought no one ever read these things despite my attempts in the past to advertise such product, but what the hell.

I simply deleted the blog, for a couple of reasons:

1. I wanted to silence a rumor
2. It was too much, even for myself to handle.

I wanted to silence a rumor, simply because I wanted this "project" lowkey. As in the past, I never dealt well with rumors and such going around, and I didn't want this one to be like that either (for my sanity at least).

I would also say that even though the deleted blog is one of my better blogs yet with a perfectly nailed allusion, I would say that the code itself is easy to break (that, and along with my writing style, it seems to be really obvious and blunt)

Ironic how I deleted a blog to silence a rumor, and yet here I am writing one, and it's definitely not helping my cause.

But whatever. I could really care less at this point, since my emotions are rock bottom, that while I'm at it, I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Yeah, I'll leave it as that because if some people have heard the rumor, and can put two and two together, then you probably know what happened.

The Last Supper

Yesterday was Westchester's annual End-Of-Year banquet and Lock-In.

I don't even know where to start, simply because it has so many amazing points to begin with... I guess I'll just go chronologically.

First off, we had food provided by Vinny's - We had Alfredo, Mixed Greens, and a Spicy Tomato/Mushroom/Cheese Angel Hair Pasta Mixture with Rigatoni with Marinara Sauce.  I can't describe food for my life, but at least I'm trying.

My tablemates are amazing, as always.  It's fun to hear Timmy quoting Step-Brothers(I might watch that movie again just for the hell of it,  Max recounting Spencer's election speech on how he saw a tall giraffe, took it and now is his wallpaper, but endorsing Scott anyway to win the position because well, he doesn't have a camera and Joey and Tarrin stuff-facing themselves.

And then came the awards.  To the best of my memory, here are the people who got them:

Delegate of The Year - Alex Soelter

Advisors Award - Oliver Adams

Outstanding Senior - Daniel Castro 

Rookie of The Year - Brandon Kim

Forum - Spencer London

Court - Nik Soelter

Legislature - Robert Espinoza

Page/Media - Elena Ioudina

NIC - Jeff Day

Advisor - Stephanie Foster

SIP - Tommy Skahill

I would write a piece about each person, but I guess that's another blog.

And now, for next year's officers

Activities Chair - Aubrey Van De Wetering

Elections Manager - Tatiana August-Schmidt

Parliamentarian - Christian Collins

Historian - Scott Tolton

Chaplain - Elena Ioudina

Sergeant at Arms - Robert Espinoza

Treasurer - Bita Minaravesh

Clerk - Bianca De La Vega

Vice President - Marisa Mito

President - Chris Adams

In the behalf of last year's officer team, we give you our blessing and our trust to bring our delegation into greater heights, with more people winning statewide positions, more people going to CONA, getting Premier Delegation, and a stronger bond than before.  With this bond stronger than ever, you are no longer a force to be reckoned with.  You will be at the top, and sit there for a long time.

I also want to give a shoutout for those other people who ran: Patrick Bennett, Alex August-Schmidt, Eileen Cheng, Timmy McKinley, Max Ramey, Joey Breese, India Purnell, Spencer London, Drew Hancock, Jacklynn Morris, Brandon Kim, Tanner Webb, Nina Benton and Natalie Friedricks.

There is no harm in losing, especially with the turnout for the elections this year.  Be a part of a force.  Every single delegate, including the officers themselves are the force that makes this delegation powerful.  Always remember that you have the choice to lead.  You took the path, and I want to applaud, hug, or shake your hand for that.  In the words of Chuck Noll (not sure really), you learn a page when you win, and a book if you lose.  In short, you gain just as much as those who won.

Moving on...

Beyond the food, the slideshow, the chocolates, the helium and the awards, we now go to the better part of the night:  

Lock In.

Lock In, in a simple definition is pure amazement.  We get locked in the YMCA until seven in the morning, do whatever the heck we can do (as long as it is Y-Rated, of course).

I was pretty psyched about this lock-in because there is this tradition that goes on for the seniors: Diddy Rieses.  The deal about this place is that they sell Ice Cream Sandwiches.  Sounds simplistic, right?  Wrong.

First off, this place is in Westwood.  I actually got to see UCLA from the outside(which was really cool, for the lack of a better word, and I didn't even know it was THAT near).  That, and the line was so long that it was worse than Tito's - no hyperbole there, but it was worth the wait, I got 3 dozen cookies for 11.75.  Not bad.  But I don't think the dude gave me thirty six...

However, here are some of my highlights at Diddy Rieses:

1. Indian Boner Jamz - Nik needs to burn me that CD.  That, and the annoying German Song that if Chris White heard it again, he would kill himself.

2. Just Dood It - Lynora gave me the suggestion for this shirt.  And I will do it.

3. Nik's Ice Cream Sandwich - I remember it was a snickerdoodle with some ice cream in the middle.  Gave me a culinary boner, nonetheless.

But seriously, I'm going to go back there someday and get an ice cream sandwich for myself...

At the actual lock in, I put my cookies down by my bag (you know where this is going).  I played some hoops with Patrick and Timmy, then decided to go on the pool, swim, and play some kinda "monkey-in-the-middle" kind of game, just tossing around water polo balls, and wrestling our asses off, I guess (obviously Lifeguards had to stop us there).  

When I got at the pool, I saw John (I hope Logan doesn't read blogs).  He said that he might not make it, so I was kind of upset, for a lack of a better word.  To come back from a sweet place (literally) to see him (yeah, he's extra special to a degree, no homo), I literally just took my shirt off, put my towel and shirt to the side and jumped in, only to tell me that I should have showered first.

Oops.

I could tell that the time lasted shorter than I thought, as it was already one in the morning (after all, you can only soak yourself in water for so long, or there's a time restriction for it to clean the filth of 85 delegates).  After playing in water, a lot of us dispersed into different places.  Some people were listening to Jason Butler's philosophies in life, some of us were playing HORSE, playing half court basketball shirts vs. skins, watching the half basketball game, racketballing, volleyball in the racketball room, basking in relaxation or hoarding a lot of food.

I'm pretty sure that people can attest to whichever statement as they know what they did after one in the morning.

After that, nothing happened, except this one event:

Me and Nina were walking together in the kitchen, as she wanted some cake.  She gets some for herself, and I playfully get some frosting, and put it in her face, and she goes on to say: "You did not just cake me".  I walk away to check the poker game that I was on (apparently, I went out too early).

I came back once again, and I asked her where she's been.  She said she's been walking around.  (I mean, really, what are better things to do than walk around?  Watch Slumdog Millionaire? Perhaps.).  She said that she wanted cake again.  And so we go to the kitchen, but this time, I distance myself away from her because I didn't want to get frosting on my face.  It's a terrible feeling.

She then asks me to come next to her, and I said no, since I'm paranoid of being caked and nothing else, to be quite honest.  She insisted that I was paranoid about something else (but I really wasn't - I tried to prove my point, but epically failed).  She said that if I didn't tell her what I was paranoid about, she would stop the conversation.  It happened.

I walked to the room, and saw Brandon's note lying around, and below that was a piece of paper and a pen.  It could only mean one thing:  Catharsis.

I don't exactly know what I wrote, but all I knew is that I was paranoid about what my life would be after Youth and Government.  Would I live a life of mediocrity once again, with a routine life of homework, sleep and tennis?  Would I meet people just as amazing as these people?

Ladies and Gentlemen, as I was writing this blog, I felt Peter Pan's presence around me as I never wanted to grow up.  I wanted to be a delegate forever.  Then I remember Case's voice:  Everything must come to an end.  Even if I want to avoid the inevitable and say "Should it?", I don't want to say it anymore as it is merely consolation, something that stimulates in my opinion a further cause for depression as it only stops the damage, and not repairs it.

In this lock-in, I finally accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever, as we have to move on, and keep writing chapters in our life.  Jamie told me as she hugged me tightly, that to take what I learned from here and apply it somewhere else, as I can do great things with it.  For people to have that much faith in me is truly amazing, powerful, and belongs to one of my memories that I can remember despite being shitfaced (referring to my last blog).

After writing this blog, I literally looked around the Y for Nina, only to give, and read it to her, saying that "If you want an answer, then this is your answer".  I read it with a tired and rather crappy accent, but it was well worth it.  That note, as she told me is now up in her wall (which is why I don't remember it word per word, but the concept of it I remember), and I almost killed three birds with one stone: My own satisfaction, to answer a question, and to make Jamie Buckley almost cry (unintentional however, but I was close, as she told me).

I got home, slept, and been uploading pictures for three hours now as well as composing this blog.  No grammatical edits, therefore full of errors, but try to stay with me when you read it.  

Tomorrow, I live my life once again.  But this time, I'm not alone.  I have 84 delegates in my heart, plus a couple statewide, ten advisors, and friends that are not in YnG lingering in my heart.  The thought of you guys makes me happy, and inspire me to do great things.  If it weren't for you all, I don't know what I would be doing today, or who my inspiration for every tennis game I play, or every meal that I cook.

The power of thinking without thinking - SAT Essay

"People usually assume that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it.  We believe that we are always better off gathering as much information as possible and then spending as much time as possible analyzing that information.  But there are times when making a quick judgment is the best thing to do.  Decisions made quickly can be as good without decisions made slowly and cautiously"

- Adapted from Malcolm Gladwell

(The content below is my SAT essay... cut off in thought, just straight up thirty minutes of bullshit.)

Picture it, a tennis match between the two greatest tennis players of all time:  Pete Sampras, and Roger Federe.  Flashes of elegance through movement by Federer and Herculean strength through his serve and volley game that Sampras exemplifies.  Rallies back and forth and one or the other could not break each other for neither is comfortable with their opponent's style.  The message that is being conveyed is is that a decision made quickly (Serve and Volley), or Federer's fluidity in court gives him more chances to win through the rally (which is usually longer than a serve and volley point), represents the slowly and carefully thought out decision, is just as good as the other depending on the player who makes them in the tennis court of life.

An example of a quick decision is the future.  I am a college peer counselor at my school, and I get to hear a lot of futures (prospective) by these people.  They mention the fact that they want to go to certain schools (USC, UCLA and such), but show uncertainty in the process of doing so, without the awareness of their performance in school or what their future is.  With uncertainty comes failure, but if one says at a childhood age that he or she pursues to be a doctor, works hard consistently, graduating valedictorian in middle, high school and college, then he or she is on the path to success.

A perfect example for a well thought out decision is an Iron Chef dish.  Given the fact that the Iron Chef nor his opponent know what the secret ingredient is, along wit with the fact that they have to make five dishes in a span of an hour will drive them bananas (no food pun intended - but definitely obvious).  Even though they are only given fifteen minutes to make a "quick" decision, it might as well be thought out for these chefs have vast knowledge of food unlike the kids I peer counseled who have no awareness of their future, their major, or what their breakfast is tomorrow.  However, a well thought out decision is a double edged sword.  I remember watching Top Chef and a judge asked if the contestant if he or she had a solid plan coming to the finale and said now, to which her explanation was: "If I planned to cook a certain dish for the finale and the ingredients were not there, then I'm screwed".  This shows that sometimes.....

Time's Up.

Stupid time limits.

Racism? - By Ryan Hoffman, Special Guest Blogger

As many of you know, to day, for halloween, I dressed up as my friend Nathan Epps. Nate happens to be black. So what I did was wear my usual cloths I would any other day, then I painted my face with a brown face paint, to match Nates pigment. Then because my hair is nothing like his, I bought a fake afro to wear. Nothing else, no chains, no "bling", no "pimp" attire, just me, as Nate. I got many odd looks, I looked like I could have been an African American, so most of the looks were a double-take type look. I got a bunch of really positive responses, such as, "man thats soo cool," "you totally look like Nate," and my favorite, "your my hero man." But apparently there was a lot of talk behind my back, by people I thought were my friends. Some people called me racist. I didnt understand this, because I'm not being racist. The dictionary defines racist as, "hatred or intolerance of another race or other races." This is not me, not today, not ever. I do not have a hatred or intolerance for any race, and if I was racist against black people, I would most certainly not have been one for halloween. And I would most certainly not have from moment of getting on campus sought out my "fellow" black students. 

My history teacher Mrs. Brown asked me if I had gotten any negative feedback, like being called racist, I sayed no, because at the time, i was unaware of the back talk about me. She was surprised, then she asked me if I knew who the "black faces" were. I did, but I hadnt thought about it earlier, she then went on to explain how back in the 1920 through 40s white people would paint their selves black and would mock black people. I thought about this for a while. I'm not mocking anyone, I'm not doing anything of a mocking fashion to offend African Americans. Then later, my friend say, "copying is the highest form of flattering" then went on to explain how me being black is equal to me loving or praising them. Then I thought more about it. And came to the conclusion that there are 3 reasons for copying: to mock, to annoy, or to show love. And I most certainly was not mocking anyone. I'm sure I annoyed a few people, but that was by complete accident, plus, if I annoy you, DONT BE AROUND ME! It doesnt help you to be annoyed and it sure doesnt help me, because, I can tell when your annoyed, for the most part. So the last option left is to show love. And unless you think that showing love to someone is racist, then I am not racist. Im quite the opposite.

One last thing I thought was very interesting about all of this, was the only people who said anything about me being racist were... WHITE! woah! All the black people I saw that day thought what I did was awesome, but for some reason the white people got offended. Would a white person be offended if a black person painted his or her skin paler and did something if his or her hair, nothing else, wore their normal cloths and acted the same as usual? Dave Chapple does it all the time, the one difference is he is there to mock, but we dont find that offensive. I dont get offended when I think about Michael Jackson's skin color change.

So really, am I racist, or is it you who is far far over sensitive about things like this, because you live in "Serrano" of "El Dorado Hills," the whitest place on earth. I'm sorry I grew up in Milwaukee were nobody was racist because everyone lived together peacefully. So shut up and suck it!

Extended Bliss - Spring Conference

"There are two events this year that are not in YnG season... Spring Conference...  Incoming freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors are welcome to it"

Of course, there is something wrong with that sentence!

COLLEGE FRESHMEN.

Yes, this year's seniors are given a chance to go to spring conference, only our hopes to fizzle away in the hopes of recruitment.

Yes, recruitment.

I know how ironic it is, considering that my first session ever is spring conference, but really, I already made the decision to join YnG beforehand, Spring Conference or none.  I don't know if from the previous years that people were set to join YnG without Spring Conference or not.

I don't really know how recruiting fits into spring conference considering some of the people from Westchester who have gone there, are mostly returnees, and those who we are supposedly recruiting either didn't feel like it, or joined then quit.

Then again, I am only looking at one delegation's perspective.  Like a statistics concept, there is something called sampling variability where one is greater than the other, and the usual, less than the norm given.  So, I don't really know as I don't have any evidence to back this up outside Westchester's grounds.

Whether it is Governor Blumenfeld's work or not, he (or not possibly him -> continuing to emphasize the point) has opened the doors for those who want to do something earlier, and those who want to leave later.  With that said, if a freshman gets to savor YnG for the first time, then a senior who is leaving for college gets to savor YnG for the last time, even though it was supposed to happen at Sacramento.

To me, it is really heartbreaking to see jaws drop out of Westchester Delegation seniors when they heard this, since some of them were so excited to hang a hammock on the same spot that they have been hanging it on for three or four years, and the melted ice cream on the grass, or the idea of the slide and a pool on a hot day.  

If Spring Conference is truly a recruiting ploy, then it has not worked.  Finally came up with my evidence:  Most (yes, MOST) of Westchester's new delegates did not attend Spring Conference.

Names?  Sure.

Elizabeth Kaczor? Nope.

Drew Hancock? Nope.

Laira Martin, Nope.

Jacklynn Morris, Nope.

Tanner Webb, Nope.

Ellie Hernandez, Nope

Nina Benton, Nope.

Natalie Friedricks, Nope.

Rebecca Rosen, Nope.

Christian Collins, Bob Heutmaker, Jimmy Cipiti -> Nope, Nope, and Nope.

The list eventually ends, and most of them did not experience spring conference (which I personally hope they do this year)

This simply proves that Spring Conference is, for seniors at least, an extension of a goodbye, and for freshmen, it's simply a new beginning.  For the people in the middle (including the people with the new beginning and the extension of a goodbye), it's simply a party.

A party that we can't miss.

Lost In Translation.

Let's face it, people have to express themselves from time to time.

Much like food, the execution of a speech, a sentence, a phrase, or anything (pun intended) LIT(lost in translation)erary, matters, or else, it comes out not exactly the way you want it to be meant.

Take for instance, someone who's really friendly trying to get to know someone through forms of communication, whatever it maybe for the obvious reasons that they don't hang out too much (excuses flow everywhere, etc., but I simply refuse to list them).  This type of personality turns off someone, especially for a rather quick assumption that this friendly person has taken a liking to the other person.

Shit happens.  That's all I have to say.

I'll admit that I'm one of those people who don't really think about what they say, since, well, it's pointless to a degree.  I believe that whatever I say has some relevance to the conversation, and IT. JUST. COMES. OUT. WRONG.

That's like, someone wanting fried chicken when you gave them a grilled one... It's chicken, but it's not the texture that they wanted it to be.

Okay, I'm just going around my points.

It's simply saying that even the most eloquent men have their own mistakes.  Hey, President Obama messed up the oath.  

With that, I think I could sleep happy and move on to a new day tomorrow.  I still got to remember myself to do the statistics homework.  Yay, Statistics.

The Dream That Had To End - YnG Experiences

A couple days before I went to Sacramento on Wednesday, I had a dream (or a nightmare) that I missed my flight to Sacramento... on Thursday (note that I had to leave on Wednesday because I was a Commission Chair).   I was running, running, heaving, huffing, puffing (or whatever else the wolf did to try and blow down the pig's house).  In all seriousness, I woke up, four in the morning, teary-eyed, watching my dog sleeping beside me, and whispered "God, fuck".

I believe that something won't happen, if one thing didn't happen.  It's like having a domino link lined up, with no catalyst for that domino link:  The hand that plunks that domino effect itself.

Think about it.  The hand is the decisions that we make in life, where the dominoes are events . Our decisions create a chain of events, creating an image, a memory that will last forever in our minds, only for one to be simply amazed by it, or for someone to criticize it (after all, everyone's a critic to a degree)

I wouldn't have known about the Youth and Government Program itself, if Nathan or Nik didn't tell me about it.  I would not have known Nathan or Nik, if I didn't come here.  See what I mean?  It's a domino effect.

These two weeks have been emotionally draining for me, from coming in Sacramento really excited, to living out this weekend wishing I was still at Sacramento.  It is so bad that when Nathan said "Peace, Love, and Statistics", I thought of Sarah Colgate, who is in the NCDM delegation.

Speaking of which, before I continue, a happy birthday to Sarah, in case I forget (I probably won't, but there's Murphy's law... damn you, Murphy).

A lot has happened to me since joining Youth and Government.  I remember Spring Conference, where I had absolutely no clue what to do, I was stuck on NIC, not knowing what it is, wanting to be in Senate or Assembly because it was the social norm.  I remember that spring conference where I had to defend this proposal regarding Uranium, not knowing what it is, what argument to come up with it, etc.  I got through second round, and this dude named Justin McKone(or at least, that's what his name was) shot down my proposal, and me as a whole (then again, I lacked confidence at the time).  It sucked.  Trend went on Sacramento (This time, I tried taking my shots against McKone, but as usual, I was unsuccessful).  That was the end of me and him (like lowkey).

Ironically, I became an NIC brat.  NIC in Sacramento last year, NIC in Sacramento this year.  Spring conference doesn't count.  This moron (me) confused my s's with my t's... therefore, I was a committee chair, instead of a commission chair.  Still legit though, as I witnessed what I would love to call a Westchester dominated Senate session, where useless statistics were used, and pecs were moved, and the best speakers discouraged.  Yes, I'm talking about you, Arielle Pardes. <3

Being an NIC chair truly has been a privilege and an honor.  It was a privilege to chair a crop of people who I know are now my friends.  I met amazing people, who I know I can always share memories with such as Ryan Hoffman and I doing our best drive thru impressions, or me and Jen Francis having to retake a couple pictures because I looked shitty on one of them.  

Also, a song quote comes to mind, when thinking about YnG:  "Unsinkable ships sink, Unbreakable Walls Break" -> I said that every delegation, even those who are considered premier, or mighty have their own flaws.  I will stick to that statement, but I totally missed my whole point.  During the friendship service, guys who I never thought would see cry cried.  People such as Nathan, Dakota, Robert, Tanner, Charles, or even Hassan, who I usually see in school who act so badass, that I thought never see them break down.  But they did.  Some of them gave their testimonies as to how this program helped their grades improve, or stay away from drugs.  During these friendship services, people are always humbled, where they are often reminded that these guys are our friends; people who have emotions like the rest of us who store it, and live life their way until given their chance to show or tell those who they trust, or like as to how they really feel about something specific.  

Straying away from the metaphor, it is also amazing what a friendship service does to all of us.  It bonds us, makes us cry, makes us realize, makes us want to do certain things, with an assurance that those people have our support.  It bonds us in a way, where if you haven't cried, and see two siblings cry together, as one is leaving for college and both know that they'll miss each other despite their brotherly  moments.  It makes us realize that we all have each other's backs, and it makes us realize that the investment and the sacrifices that our parents made for us to get here is so worth the money.

Despite my low points in Sacramento such as not being called in General Assembly or missing my turn for karaoke (one song short!), there is no amount of sadness that can surmount the amount of happiness that is Sacramento or Youth and Government feeling in general, the feeling of making new friends, the feeling of debating about something you are passionate about, the feeling of the raindrops in your head, the feeling in your legs for those miles that you walked (or those that you ran to catch the bus if the stop was near you).

There is a quote that goes "All great things must come to an end". Grayson Phillips, Triunfo President, and fellow Commission Chair told me, that this was his last Sacramento and he has done everything that he wanted to do, and he had nothing else to prove.  It is like anyone having their last supper, where if they find it to be satisfactory, or way above standard, they will die happy.

But seriously, I want you to give this a thought.  If you are passionate about something, it will never end.  It will pester you to a degree.  Always remember that something is always there for you, no matter what your distance is.  I want you to think about that IHOP commercial, where the dude who ate the pancakes was open-eyed when he saw that the slice of the pancake that he took regenerated.  YnG is like that.  You can always come back as an intern, or as an advisor, or even a staff member.  I know that at one point, some of our advisors were just like us delegates, as they had to face the reality of them leaving YnG, only to come back as advisors creating new memories AND reliving the past.

With that, I end with a rhyme.

It is a known fact that there is always a start and an end

Therefore, make your entrances and exits both grand

For Seniors, let's be proud with our heads held high walking away

For the rest of you, don't take for granted of your continued on YnG Stay

Don't ever say never

Because YnG only sets you up for forever.

I know I don't have flow and rhyme

But I figured out that this is the proper time

To give it a go 

and let my emotion flow.

Seriously, If I don't end this,

This blog won't cease to increase.

Therefore I bid you goodnight,

and don't let any bed bugs bite.

The Road To Greatness - My CONA Essay

(Why the hell is this formatted?)  I simply believe that a really good piece of writing should not be kept away from others who will potentially appreciate it.   Therefore, I put this essay out, as I probably will have a good use for it in the future... or something like that.

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An unknown author once said that “seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth”, and I couldn’t agree more.  It is my dream to be "The Next Iron Chef", as having this title signifies that I am one of the best in the culinary world, much like a CONA delegate is when representing one of the twenty five best delegates in California’s Youth and Government program. These worlds are parallel to each other in their base concepts, but they become perpendicular when one examines the means to the end of greatness.

The road to greatness begins with speed and artistry: butchering.  To me, breaking down a piece of meat and a proposal share many similarities; they are both complex chunks of material that, to the inexperienced eye, look like a mound of odds and ends. A more experienced individual, like myself, sees not the collective whole as much as the individual parts, parts that I cannot help but scrutinize, one by one.  As a speaker, not only am I very comfortable on the podium, but I am willing to raise my hand and speak on a topic, even when no one else chooses to. This helps showcase the beauty of Youth and Government, the idea that my opinion matters, that even when my opinion gets lost in translation, others opinions and questions can clarify, be their intention to support me or oppose me I believe that my opinionated and talkative personality stimulate my hunger to be in CONA even more, since I know that if my opinions already matter to California, then they should also in forty-nine other states.

The next challenge is dubbed Simplicity, where chefs make six "one bite" dishes, and Innovation, where molecular gastronomy (the use of advanced chemical and physical processes within cooking) is involved, where both challenges require their style of cooking to be applied. I find my life similar to food, where the topic is so broad that there are many variations of it. Since there are many variations of food, it takes something innovative, something unique, to make this a certain variation of a certain dish unique. Variety is the spice of life, and I took my chances seven years ago in coming here to the U.S, to spice things up, and that it did. Despite cultural shocks at certain events, my life has been nothing short of desirable. If variety is the spice of life, I don't want to be stuck in California, or the Phillipines alone:  I want to move around the world, and discover the wonders of the world.  It's what a chef does:  Go to other countries to apply those concepts that they have learned into their style of cooking.  Given that CONA gives it's delegates to travel to a new place, and testimonies from other people that it was the best time of their life, I want to experience it as well.

Another challenge was named “Lead and Inspire”, where the chefs are flown to Paris to create a meal for a party being thrown by the United States Ambassador to France. Each potential Iron chef got a Sous chef, and were forced to simulatenously delegate responsibility while trusting a stranger to be responsible. I know that responsibility increases exponentially with power. As Westchester’s Tennis Team Varsity Captain, I feel a responsibility to be both a strict mentor and a gentle friend with them, going from enforcing drills to telling stories of the multiple mishaps the team has experienced.  By doing this, I inspire these rookies to be more sociable to us veterans, as we were once like them, and can understand what we are going through. By being this brotherly figure, I earn the intangible and irreplacable virtues of respect and trust, which helps creates a powerful bond.  This is the kind of bond that I want to achieve with whoever I meet at CONA, knowing that me and a certain group of people will not be stuck in the past, but will be stuck in a lifetime: the past, the present, and the future.

If an Iron Chef is much like a CONA delegate, then I am the Iron Chef, my heart is the kitchen, and I cannot wait to show off the world what I have to offer: my skills, my flair, and my product.  With these three, I believe that I am a force to be reckoned with as I am ready for anything that comes in my way.

Just For Kicks.

Why did you turn into something that I'd hate so much?

Even though that's the case,

Never did I give up hope in you finding your old personality.

Did you?  

Yeah, I think you did.

Hell hath no fury for

An Arab Scorned

See him rap

See him troll

At a rapid pace

Never mess with a menace

Jams he, on a guitar

Oh boy, he's hyper on chocolate bars

Help, Help, this boy needs an ambulance

Nah, he just needs to dance.

Mark is his name

Arrogant, or assholish he can be.

Really.

Karat gold necklace he wears, can't you see?  

Chill out, 

Heaven is a place without you.

Eh..

Right?

Yeah...

Like really... yeah.

For Everyone's Eyes Only

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

- John Madden

I am speaking in behalf of about half of us, mostly the veterans on the team when I say this.

I am talking about the behavior of this team.

It's despicable.  It's embarrassing.

It's one thing to joke around.  I understand that the idea of this team is much like a fraternity, brothers who have fun, while looking out for each other.

But this is something else.

When we are given the simple instruction to be quiet, we should be quiet.

When we are given the simple instruction to line up, line up.

When we are given the simple instruction to run two laps, do it.

While we do understand that some of the guys in fourth period tennis have been really tired, I understand.  I've been there, I've done it, and I've had to practice after school.  So has Patrick, so has Allan, or so has whoever I have forgotten whoever has been on the team for more than a year now.

While I do understand that we want to have fun, as it is the main concept of this game, we also have to maintain a sense of professionalism.  

Let me be serious about a couple of things here.

1.  I'm pretty sure that ANYONE here doesn't want to be perceived as a jackass, as to how they act on the court in an immature way.  You act up, and your opponent is going to eat you up.

2.  We want to support our teammates and not distract them.

I know what most people are thinking, but this speech is not aimed to bully people, but instead to demand more.  To demand more, not necessarily in skill, as we have two coaches that can help us out with that, but to demand more in maturity.  Think about it this way.  If you were to meet somebody and they are offering you a million dollars, do you really want to act like a jackass at this time?

I didn't think so.

There are a couple of simple rules that Ms. Chain asks of you, rookies and veterans.

1. Get your end on time

2. Play your ass off until it falls to the ground.

3. Have a good time.

Do all of these three stated above, and I'm damn sure that not only will you gain respect of those around this team, but you will also gain the respect of those of who you play.  And with respect, comes with a great amount of friends.